Noshingham: GB Cafe and Restaurant

Words: Bridie Squires
Wednesday 27 December 2017
reading time: min, words

Yo, there's nothing better than...

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Uprooted from the depths of Hockley, the LeftLion gang has recently taken up residence in a unit down one of the Sneinton Market Avenues. And, being the gluttonous sods that we are, one of our main concerns about immigrating was missing out on the wide range of lunchtime edibles previously available to us in the belly of Nottingham, with the ten-minute walk prompting several woe-is-me forehead slaps among the ranks.

But, like a shining blue light on the horizon, GB Café & Restaurant has graced us with a menu that spans the entirety of the available food items in the city. All written IN CAPS LOCK, NO LESS.

For the first few visits, we were inundated with free Capri Suns. Bang. Everyone who works there is nuff friendly and attentive, and there’s a salt-of-the-Earth atmosphere among the laminated wood tables and plastic flowers. All things combined, it’s a bit like going to a café when you’re on holiday; you know, those life-saving little corners of the earth that cure a Benidorm hangover, no trouble.

Adorning the walls are scenic landscapes, sticks of wheat, and photos of cocktails stretched out of proportion. Behind the counter, fifteen massive chopped tomato tins are being reused to store stacked, teetering eggs in their masses. Yes, there are a lot of things about GB that don’t make much sense at first, but think Samuel Beckett, think Stanley Kubrick, think Salvador Dali.

The fry-up game is strong, comes in a variety of shapes and sizes (English, full, burger?, veg, set, Turkish), and includes a free tea or coffee as well as an apple or orange juice and two rounds of toast. You can get super stripped-back versions for a couple of quid – beans on toast, egg and bacon – or for the same price you can treat yourself to a ham and cheese toastie that’d contend with the best of the four-quid tweaks in Hockley. Couldn’t mek it up, could you?

High-end dishes (£7.95) include the proper tasty beef moussaka with rice, salad and coleslaw; the ever-favourite Cajun chicken – which comes in vast amounts, and with succulence – and even roast chicken medallions with potatoes and veg. You might want to leave the rock ‘ard Yorkie pudding out, though. The veggie options are quite limited but, handily, they’ve highlighted all the ones that do exist in GREEN.

Unfortunately the beer pumps haven’t been working since we’ve been about – probably for the best – but you can grab a can of Stella to go alongside that slab of carrot cake or Snickers you’ve bagged for your pudding, no problem.                                             

11 Gedling Street, NG1 1DS. 07748 538 204

GB Cafe and Restaurant website

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